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MORE: How to Have a Healthy Relationship This simply is not true.If a relationship with someone makes you feel bad, that is your mind screaming, “This person is incompatible with you! ” If a relationship feels like suffocation, that’s a huge clue that you’re not in a relationship with someone who’s compatible with you. In a good relationships, everything just unfolds effortlessly (well, 99% of the time within a good relationship is effortless with the occasional 1% of the time where you have to put in effort to make sure things stay in a good place).You feel like until you have this, you are not OK and will not be OK.When you’re fixated on someone, your relationship ceases to be about enjoyment and effortlessness.It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is. Well, when you love someone, it is pretty effortless.There is a tremendous difference between real, true love and unhealthy obsession or fixation… It is true and pure – you don’t need them to be any certain way.I think most women run into issues and confusion in their love lives because they don’t know what a truly healthy relationship looks like, and is supposed to feel like.
I don’t care if you have a million songs on your i Pod.Unfortunately, though, the majority of people don’t do that.I blame music and Hollywood for propagating this mindset, but for whatever reason, people today have the idea that relationships are supposed to be hard.Heck, you don’t even need them to be your boyfriend or lover. You just love having them in your life and they love being in yours, whether it’s as friends, as lovers, or as life partners.You just simply enjoy them as a person and you’re happy with them just being who they are. Again, I have to emphasize that it’s Fixation, on the other hand, does not feel pleasant.
Instead, it is more like you are gasping for air, desperately hoping they’ll give you whatever it is you think you need from them.